A love in verse

Scottish Theatres

2013-04-04
Performed by

I was to play Claudius the king

A National star the errant Dane,

Film star to be, and no plain Jane

My Queen. This fine Shakespearean fling

I turned down – wonders never cease – 

For some unknown, new rough-hewn piece

But in that play I met my Fate,

My happiness, my joy, my wife

My love. Strange choices govern life. 

I chose well. Now at this late date

We contemplate how hunger sure

Was satisfied in Plat du Jour. 


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Oscar

Your bum is better than Venus’s arse

I dwell upon it constantly

Two rounded hillocks of real class...

Head Over Heel

You’re my beauty (boredom’s death!)

The beast maybe me, I don’t know

Or p’raps a frog who’ll suddenly grow...