A love in verse


Performed by

Your bum is better than Venus’s arse

I dwell upon it constantly

Two rounded hillocks of real class

Make other beauties sigh “Alas

Would I could see that arse on me!”

You search the Mendips and South Downs

For similar swelling curvature

But likely candidates bring frowns

Her hippy bottom’s beauty crowns

All worldwide bums and must endure. 

As perfect as an air from Tosca

Her arse wins the Bottoms Oscar


The Music Museum

Let’s go to the Music Museum again,

Let’s fulfil that silly ambition – 

Each April to October we intend to and then...

Central Heating

My young love rests, hopefully sleeps

In the afternoon in Spring – she

Causes the cold bird to sing, she...